was it the flame? or sugar?

i’m really not sure.

what i do know is that jane wanted to be up and out of her bed and in my arms between 2 and 3:45 am.

it’s nearly 8 am and she’s still sleeping.

i’m not sure if you can tell,

but i’m sort of having a no-words issue about my baby turning one.

i’m a little more droopy and tearful than expected.

i’m a little sad.

everything about baby jane is so delicious.

(except the sleep thing)

i don’t want her to grow up – get older.

i find myself sneaking little moments with her, on the couch, in her rocking chair.

just soaking her in.

i don’t want to forget janie as a baby.

her sounds, her scrunchy face, her open mouth kisses.

to be honest, i’d be ok if all three kids took a little break from growing.

it will break my heart when bo stops saying “yookit”

although, i’m looking forward to when he poops on the potty.

one year ago…today

my almost 1 year old…

time out!!!

it’s too much.

in the past couple of weeks

char has

had her nails painted

she’s memorized her phone number

chewed not swallowed a gum ball

rides a tricycle like a pro

wears flip flops

and last night

she had her first

sleepover.

tear. tear.

to make myself feel better i remember she also still plays bunnies

and she made herself a little nest so she could sit on her eggs…

i love you corinna…

i really really do.

there are well over 30 reasons now.

her are just a few recent ones.

you brought me jaime oliver’s beautiful cookbook when i was having a crummy week.

i will never forget that.

and

you helped me clean my bathrooms and you didn’t poke fun at me when i cleaned the tub in my under-roos.

you ate a scallop.

you are taking a photography class and you are putting your heart and soul into every assignment you do.

and

most recently i love you for taking this photo of me (even though it’s a little blurry) and

making me look like i have totally buff and trim arms.

p.s.

holla! chardell!

you raised on of my favorite people.

yesterday.

yesterday was so nutty, it rendered me totally insane.

i actually bought my sugar sensitive 3 year old and my 2 year old these decorated gum balls in plastic cases…

i’m debating on whether or not i should spare you the details.

let’s just say i woke up to a broken fridge

a bunch of thawed chicken

3 – count them with me 1. poo 2. pee. 3. puke soiled linens.

oh and i had to pack up for camp canuck and drive matt to vancouver…

all these things had to be addressed, dealt with, done by 11 am.

almost humanly impossible.

we got home  just after 4.

i barely remember what happened between then and when gary and i sat down to watch this.

i think all the ridiculous, hilarious laughter probably kept me from dying in my sleep.

today…

so our fridge was on a little break (daddy is fix’n her up as i type).

which meant this morning i was out the door at 8:30 in pursuit of a “creamy” coffee.

i can’t do coffee without milk or preferably 18% coffee cream.

and i can’t do morning without coffee (it’s not pretty – by 8:30 i was agitated and had the shakes – scary).

shakes aside,

it was invigorating to be out the door that early.

and i felt an adventure coming on.

creamy coffee in hand, i drove with my three chanchitos out to devan greenhouses.

if you live in the area, you really must check it out.

they have a beautiful facility

a big bobbing turtle

a lovely penned yard with baby goats, chickens, a surprisingly clean (dag free) lamb and a couple bunnies bouncing around.

there is also a little play house gazebo for kids.  mine could have stayed all day.

but we didn’t

brought home a number of herbs and some annuals.

i also got a couple hanging baskets – on special for 9.99.

(gary just whispered to himself “i am a god” – must have fixed the fridge)

when we got home bo and jane napped for like a few seconds and

i went to work on my garden.

i’m not going to lie.

the garden looks like the other word for poo.

the kids either stepped on, drowned, plucked the flowers off or just plain pulled out everything i planted.

oh well.

by the time we went in we were all filthy and the kids were all pretty much nude.

and you know what they say, filth and nudeness are both indicators of a totally awesome day.

notice the carefully place english lavender…

what i can count on…

if i wash the sheets, someone will pee their bed.

if i wear white, someone will bleed and need a cuddle.

if i clean the bathroom, someone will decide it’s time to trim their beard.

if i shampoo the carpets, someone will drop berry, chocolate or ketchup on it the very next day… i can count on it.

if i buy a new shirt, bleach will find it – somehow, someway…

if i buy a new van, some big truck’s rear bumper will find my front bumper within five to seven days.

the second i start feeling self conscious about my home and my stuff – doors just start falling off.

i’m so not kidding…

so

what i am learning to count on

is the fact that all these things are my faithful and steady teachers.

they are teaching me to be less focused on stuff and more focused on life… and my peoples.

teachers – i am painfully grateful for.

a little char for good measure.

the other night i let char play a little game on my phone before she went to bed.

when i came in to check on her, she was out.

my phone was propped up safe and secure in between piggy and princess ducky and she had managed to get i tunes going.

the soft sounds of iron and wine must have lulled her.

later i noticed she took a few photos as well.

woody update.

yep… she’s still got him.